Whoever dreamed up the term ‘work life balance’ should be taken out the back and at the minimum receive a stern talking to. This term has created endless pain for countless people, struggling and juggling multiple roles and responsibilities to achieve the mythical ‘balance’ bliss and harmony.
Well, it’s never going to happen. Does one go to work, and then go to life? Is not work a part of life? How does one discern the difference between work and life? Am I not alive at work? (I do appreciate that my colleagues may have asked that of me at times, and also that repetitive drudgery can suck any sense of life out of work.)
And ‘work family balance’ is equally bereft of meaning. Let’s face it – work competes with family and family competes with work. They have quite distinct outcomes and objectives which are polar opposites. Various stakeholders, including my boss, want me to put in the time, deliver the results, make the numbers, do whatever it takes, whenever it needs to be done. If the client or management meeting is at 8am Monday, then I better spend time Sunday night getting ready. If the firm expects me to leave the Blackberry on in the evenings, then I better leave it on. Despite all the talk of family friendly policies, and then very genuine support for these, work objectives are still fundamentally at odds with family objectives.
Families require time – not just quality, but quantity. This is true of all relationships, and so equally relevant for those not in a family situation. Families cannot program events in the same way work can. We cannot keep children to routines if they are ill. We want to be at the sport on the weekend without thinking about work. We like the idea of being home for dinner with the family, rather than finally being able to get to the emails and internal meetings after the client work is done. Why is it that we feel ok checking our emails on Saturday afternoon, but guilty about knocking off an hour earlier to pick up our kids from school, or see them before they go to sleep?
The challenge is to integrate the different aspects of our life – work, family, friends, social activities, … None should dominate at the expense of the other. An integrative approach recognises that there are times when we do need to put in the long hours, compensating for this by taking perhaps a long weekend from our bank of outstanding leave, or making sure when we are home we are really home. Really home means paying attention and being fully present, not having one ear tuned to the phone or blackberry.
Integration means taking time – perhaps at the start of each year – to sit down and draw up a list of one’s various roles and responsibilities, and putting time into the diary now for what is important, rather than letting the urgent dominate.
My roles, for example, include being a husband, father, brother, son, employer, colleague, mentor, writer, … Each of these has particular responsibilities which must be fulfilled. Unless I articulate those early – eg spend time with my wife and children, write articles, … I run the risk of work, and particularly non-productive work, filling the available time.
So, let’s forget about work life balance, accept it is a myth, and seek to achieve a fully integrated life.
Well said!
I’d agree with the above. I think it’s become a bit of a catch phrase ‘Work/Life Balance’. It’s an assumption that work and life are too competing spheres.
In reality, they are not. Some of us work to live, some of us live to work. Either way, it’s a choice that is always always our own. How we choose to integrate them is a matter of prioritisation and self-awareness as to what brings out the best in us both at work and at home. Surprisingly, you’ll find that they are general qualities that apply to both facets of our existence.